Never Date Dirt. You'll Get Buried.

Imagine waking up one morning. Same bed. Same ear piercing alarm klaxon. Same morning hard-on. Same weary stagger to the shower.
But something is different. Same shaving irritation, Same taste bud numbing toothpaste. However, You're unsure which direction you're heading. You begin to live on impulses. You're anxious, moody, and worrisome. Your well-known optimism is reduced to shambles, a ruined ancient monument. Your logic is contorted. Your overall outlook turns bitter. Socializing leaves a feeling of emptiness and discontent.
You begin searching for a reason to it all. You strive to find purpose, to find your place. You begin discovering new doors through compulsive reading. In your spare time, you hang out in libraries and bookstores, reading up on random topics, searching for a solution.
Erotic Fiction by Acclaimed Oriental Authors, A Modern Approach to Calligraphy, Masonry For Dummies, The Trials and Tribulations of Teenage Pregnancy…
Dinner becomes cappuccino and the daily reading material.
Easy Hopi Indian Crafts, Read Palms in 6 Easy Steps, The Astronomer's Handbook…
There's an insuppressible anticipation each time you turn the page. A childish expectancy to find a single word, phrase, or sentence that will unlock an answer.
The Wine Taster's Handbook, Easy Vegetarian Recipes…
You soak up all of this information like a sponge on a summer day. You file it away for future use. It slowly begins to work itself into your life. It becomes a key that opens new doors, with even more possibilities lying within.
Needlework and Fiber-Arts for the Patient Mind, Biotechnology in the 21st Century, Summer Landscaping…
You discover a newfound source of confidence. Everybody discovers you are an interesting person. Scanning line after line of text is your only exercise. Your mind becomes your strongest asset.
A Beginner's Guide to Metalworking, The Delicate Art of Flower Arranging, Dealing With Breast Cancer…
Your living room slowly crowds with bookshelves. There are books on top of the television, in the medicine cabinet, and on the kitchen table and counter.
Cycling is Fun, Pornography For The Soul, A Stylist's Guide to Kinky or Curly Hair…
Your sex-life dwindles away, but you barely notice. You're lost in your research, a new and more satisfying form of recreation. Your friends grow farther apart from you, but you feel no loss or remorse.
The Healing Power of Water, The Art of Sensual Massage, Abortion As An Option…
Sleep becomes unnecessary. Most of the time, you stay awake until four in the morning reading. When you wake up, disconnected and unaffected by your lack of sleep, you pick up reading where you left off. You read about overcoming sexual dysfunction in the shower. Over a bowl of Grape Nuts, you read "How To Buy Foreclosed Real Estate" instead of the newspaper. Your bathroom reading consists of how misguided feminism is harming America's men.
You learn easy tips for relieving migraines, how to get wine stains out of a white rug, how to manage impossible hair, how to grill the fat out of a hamburger, how to tell if an infant has an earache, which zodiac signs are compatible, which herbs treat impotence…
You're finally progressing in life. You've found a direction. You're justifying your existence. You move up the ladder of life one rung at a time, the thought of reaching the top burning in your brain, all the while learning how to mix gunpowder into usable ammunition, how to identify a genuine Victorian furniture piece, how to induce orgasm by touching sensitive spots on the neck…
You swim through this endless sea of information without looking back, not bothering to take inventory of what you've left behind. Your only concerns are how the Internet is decaying our society and which color of rose compliments a certain occasion.
Receipts are scattered everywhere throughout your apartment; Line after line of ink with names of books you don't even remember buying. Books chosen with eyes shut and groping hand. Books about piano tuning, archery, viral infections in mammals…
"The Practical Quadriplegic Gardening Guide".
"Death By Convertible: Shocking, True Life Testimonies Of Tragedy Caused By The Most Dangerous of Automobiles".
You stop drinking soda because "The Patterson Guide to Modern Health" claims it slowly eats away at the wall of your stomach. Carnival Rides become a phobia after a midwestern author investigates the companies responsible for such amusement and releases a detailed journal. Your alcoholism digresses as you read about a construction worker who found a prophylactic in his can of beer.
You learn how to speak Korean dialect, where to find the best witch's covens in California, how to replace a heater core in an automobile engine, how to improve your golf game…
Informative therapy. Rehabilitation by the Facts.
Imagine all of this being you: A twenty-ish check-out lane clerk racing to find a reason before the hate and violence of the world consumes him.
God save me.